j/j hastain


subtle petite
oath amenable deception

The reeds were frozen into it because the river was entirely frozen. There was a buzz that could be observed by many senses and this was noticed. The buzz left a yearning in the body of a boy. The boy wanted so desperately to lay in the river when all he could do was lay on it. He tried to explain this to his adoptive parent. Resting his scarred hand on the frozen river he attempted to indicate his ravenous appetite for contact: not only atop of, but the grope of within. “When I get what I need it is like rushes in my organs,” he says, perhaps too young to even know how to state his feelings in so precise of a way but able to do so anyway. There are organs within desire: oat-like, fibrous, bran in the body. As this boy tries to indicate his body he feels bran in his glands.

Filial infanticide is not the same in regard to humans as it is in the more general sense with non-human animals. In human infanticide, there is often a preferential delineation made between biological sexes. This one will be killed but that one will not. Patriarchal culture is what causes that preference. Patriarchal acculturation is not natural to a spectrum that could ever be shared between humans and animals. A Hanuman Langurs eliminates the infants of the species because they represent what (in the group or clan) existed before it did; what in the memory of the other monkeys would remain a threat to the Hanuman Langurs’ reign or embodiment as the group’s new core.

If an adoptive parent can be a mode for emancipation perhaps a father and a mother can both treat their adopted child by way of sincere and matriarchal methods.

Do the nipples of the female members of the Hanuman Langurs group fizz and spittle while their young are being eliminated before their own eyes? Do they ever reach out a thick hand to help in the elimination and secretly do so for the sake of making the little, necessary deaths of their offspring less painful for their offspring (and therefore for themselves)?

j/j hastain is the author of several cross-genre books including the trans-genre book libertine monk (Scrambler Press), anti-memoir a vigorous (Black Coffee Press/ Eight Ball Press) and The Xyr Trilogy: a Metaphysical Romance. j/j’s writing has most recently appeared in Caketrain, Trickhouse, The Collagist, Housefire, Bombay Gin, Aufgabe and Tarpaulin Sky. j/j has been a guest lecturer at Naropa University, University of Colorado and University of Denver.
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