bofa xesjum

my friend

when adam got back to his apartment after working the midnight to 8 am shift, he found a handwritten note, on a small piece of paper, stuck under his door.

the note read: i thought you were my friend.

adam did not know anybody whom he thought might have written such a note. he had lots of friends, and he liked them, and they liked him. also, he did not think he knew anybody who would write anything on a piece of paper.

he did not think he had seen a piece of paper since he had been in school.

he assumed that the note had been placed under his door by mistake.

it might have been meant for one of the persons occupying the apartments to the left and right of his.

or for the apartment across the hall from his.

or for the apartment directly above his, or directly below his.

whoever left it, might have gotten into the wrong building, and meant it for the same apartment , on the same floor, on the buildings to the north and south of adam’s building, or for the building across the street.

actually, if you stopped and thought about it, it could have been intended for any apartment, in any city, in the world.

adam decided to forget about it.

but after he had his breakfast shake and began doing his exercises, he realized he could not forget it.

there was the sinister wording of the message.

“i thought you were my friend.” how threatening was that?

suppose the person writing the note actually abused or exploited or alienated or even assaulted - or even killed! - the intended recipient of the note!

and suppose it came out that adam had know about the note and not reported it. not to mention how bad adam would feel about it.

he decided he had better notify security.

he sent a brief message.

hello security. i found a threatening note under my door when i returned from work this morning. it was on a piece of paper. i think it was written by hand, but am not an expert on such matters. i am sure it was not intended for me, but thought i should report it. thank you.

the response came right back from security.

please provide the contents of the note.

i thought you were my friend. that was all.

again, the response was immediate. all the responses from security, except one, would be immediate.

were the words “that was all” part of the note?

no. the only words were “i thought you were my friend”.

please provide a list of all your friends.

i have a lot of friends, adam replied. and i do not think any of them left the note.

please provide a list of all your friends.

i have a lot of friends. i do not think any of them left the note.

provide a list of all your friends. failure to do so will be a breach of security.

adam now wished he had not reported the note. after some thought, he sent a list of all the people he could think of who might be called his friends, a total of 37 people.

after a pause of two minutes, during which the message “stay on line” kept blinking, security responded.

22 of the people cited acknowledged you as a friend. this is 59.5 percent and below the acceptable limit. your security is revoked. please gather any belongings you wish to take with you and report immediately to the security station of your building complex. the items will be scanned, and any that are acceptable you nat retain when you are escorted out of the security area.

adam knew there was no appeal. how he wished he had simply ignored the note! he took his teddy bear, a bag with extra clothing, his school yearbook, and a couple of old coins he had won in card games, and sadly made his way down the elevator and through the ground level tunnels to the security station.

a security checkpoint was waiting for him, and flashing,, when he arrived. it passed the teddy bear and the bag of clothing but not the school yearbook or the coins.

adam was escorted to the door of the security area by a human guard.

any questions? the guard asked in a friendly enough manner.

adam shook his head.

the guard unlocked the door and watched as adam, with his clothes under one arm and his teddy bear under the other, headed down the street in a drizzling rain into the great lawless city.

the guard shook his head. “he won’t last long,“ he muttered as he closed and relocked the door.


later that day, alex, accompanied by lee, arrived at adam’s old apartment to take it over.

that worked out well, lee said.

yes it did, alex agreed, dropping a suitcase inside the door.

now do i get my reward? lee asked.

you know, alex replied, i was going to keep my end of the bargain, but now… i am sorry, you are just too unattractive.

i understand, lee replied. he had no way to make alex keep the bargain.

good-bye, alex said.

goodbye. lee said.

lee made his way back to his own apartment.

when he opened the door, he found a note that had been slipped under it.

the note read: you do not know who you are dealing with.

bofa xesjum is another member of the ensemble built around the horace p. sternwall stable of writers who also have a number of books available on lulu as by the 'total dissatisfaction press'.
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