David Greenslade


I feel immensely lazy
to lazy to look in the mirror
to lazy to pick up twigs
to add an extra ‘o’
listen to the dog barking, eye
roll what the trouble is,
to lazy to stir a catkin. Clouds
refuse to move and the shuddering
fridge asks what I want for breakfast.
I’ll make it I reply but eggs and milk
bestir themselves on my behalf.
I look up the etymology of ‘bestir’ (bestyrian)
and the entymology of bagworms
just like me (wrapped in twigs)
and this provokes my laziness
towards disturbing sloth. Drooping
catkins are suddenly erect,
and screech like rabid bats
at the deadly sin that’s stalking me.


Their culture had a peculiarity
with apples. No-one
would eat an apple indoors,
even infants were taken to special ‘gates’
where an apple could be eaten
without concern. No special ritual,
(apart from never eating an apple
inside a common building). People took
their milk-names from aspects of the apple –
Applemind, Applestar, Appleforth etc
all of which, in their language,
sounded as routine as Jack and Jill.
I met her, only once and once
only at an acoustic apple festival, finishing
a bright green Goldspur down to the stem.
She was ‘underage’.
Then the booming apple-belch, indelicate
by our etiquette – but among those crayoned
hills? – unable to tear myself away – Applechime.

Filth Gloves

It was time to cooperate &
before going into action, we
were sent in Sticky Bundles
to Stores where every
comrade had to sign for a pair
of Filth Gloves. The nature of
each individualised Disgust involved
testing a Mermaid’s Sponge
and then proceed to Fitting.
We were surprised by that which failed
to repulse certain members of the team.
But, into action! First, renege on our
captains, then betray each other.
Finally return to warehouse, still
ill-fortified against our wily depredations.

David Greenslade is widely published in literary magazines and has many books in print. Recent publications include, Objects from the Footcopier (Red Ceilings) and Rarely Pretty Reasonable (Dark Windows). He lives in Wales where he organises surrealist events and exhibitions among them "Impertinent Distortions" forthcoming at the Welsh Assembly Parliament in December 2019.
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