Keith Higginbotham

My Roman Throat

mortar horses ocean surround 
or taped 
the textbooks washed

removable houses 
of the needy
the piss of the insides

warped sea windows 
cake night 
in the crashing sky


let’s trade bodies
places singing against traffic

quiet skins morning the hero

                              they their there
let my burden be thrown
the way of the bricks

let’s trade bodegas
in the firebox of bystander 
beyond the yours two too

Father of Bologna 

toast of the shower
hair all smart 
and snowy

the in-line 
saint the sun in glass
               in smoke  

the phone feathers
the widget rose
               ice in the face

more wind than wind
the automatic night 
of the pine

Swimming Pools, Movie Stars


In the pilot, Eb goes on a three-hour tour
with a pig, they get beached 
in a storm, and find themselves
on the front porch
of a mansion where millionaire 
hicks live with a Bloodhound.


Jane Hathaway and Oliver Wendell Douglass
construct a raft with the help of Aunt
Clara to escape Beverly Hills.


The Professor figures out how to make
the pig a millionaire. Elly Mae 
starts wearing dresses which are very
uncomfortable, and is offended when Darren
Stevens refers to her a a “city girl.”


Mary Ann falls and hits her head 
and thinks she is Ginger, and then Ginger 
falls on her head and thinks she is 
Samantha and then Samantha falls 
on her head and thinks she is Mr. Ziffell 
who in turn falls on his head and thinks 
he is the pig, who is now a millionaire.


Lisa Douglass is at the stove
cooking hotcakes, when Granny comes in and
refers to the hotcakes as “flapjacks,” which
insults Lisa so deeply that she faints, hits
her head, and thinks she is a movie star
stranded on an island with a bunch of idiots.


Jim Backus, who plays Mr. Drysdale’s 
boss, is shocked to learn that he also 
plays a millionaire on a desert island 
and lives in a grass hut
with his spoiled wife, who also appears
as a spoiled perfume heiress 
whose factory was designed 
by Mike Brady.


The Skipper is convinced he is doomed 
after he accidentally disturbs 
the resting place of a vengeful 
Tiki god, which was also found by Bobby
Brady in Hawaii, right before Jethro’s
surfing accident.


Everybody wants a piece of Gilligan 
and his newfound riches after he wins a three 
million dollar bet with Mr. Drysdale’s
boss, and a Japanese soldier arrives
in Hooterville, upsetting the balance
when he reveals that World War II
is not over.


In the post-series 
made-for-TV movie, the Harlem 
Globetrotters play a charity basketball game 
against the Washington Generals 
in Mr. Douglass’ barn. Uncle Arthur, 
Uncle Joe, and Uncle 
Ben are the referees. The Generals
lose again and again
and again.

Keith Higginbotham is the author of the poetry collections Calibration (Argotist Ebooks), Theme From Next Date (Ten Pages Press), Prosaic Suburban Commercial (E·ratio Editions), and Carrying the Air on a Stick (The Runaway Spoon Press). His writing and art have appeared in numerous print and online journals. He lives in South Carolina and posts his (mostly collage) art at keithhigginbotham.tumblr.com and on Instagram (@jkeith2f).
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