Kristian Radford


Ready to talk

I’m not ready to write to you about this
yet
but in the meantime
                I will write to
                               myself
until
                it matures a bit
                               like—
(pick your metaphor)
                                              (a cup
of tea                     steeping
not yet strong enough
or
finding the right balance
of hot and cold
in an old, capricious shower)

I will think about it
when I have time
                but I tend to avoid thinking
as much as possible
and do instead
                               focus
on activity (focus
on avoiding one activity by hiding myself
in another)

now it’s next week
and I’m ready to talk

no it’s not, I just wanted to try
a trope I’ve seen before
                                              (in Ken Bolton)
                               it always feels
like a clever piece of
                continuity editing
                               the intervening hours, days—
the interstices—
waved away, implied, skipped over
until time is clocked on again
the case reopened

                                              it would be nice to see
how this ends up
because for now everything’s still
                               churning
and it would be reassuring
                                              (“life-affirming”
                —code for terrible art)
to see myself figure everything out
and be able to lay it all out here
                for you

I’m sorry to keep us
waiting




Kristian Radford studied English Literature and Mathematics at the University of Queensland. He now lives in Melbourne where he works as a high school teacher.
 
 
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