Joe Balaz

DJ Sway



I taught dey wen land on da moon
in 1969?

Bingo! You win wun prize
cause your brain stay tinking.

It’s good to know
dat wen you wen read da previous book

you wuz paying close attention.

As foa da author

he gaddah invent all kind stuff
to sweep dat obvious misprint away.

Maybe he could say
dat he did it on purpose

but dat would be stretching it.

If he keep pulling dat thread

da next ting you know
in da creation of subsequent Pidgin

not only da words
going be spelled differently

but dates going be different too.

1492 could be 1493,
and 1776 could be 1775.

It’s one of dose new Pidgin quirks
dat really works

if you like suspend belief
wit tongue in blushing checks.

In da meantime
no get confused dough

if da writer is now reaching
foa wun way out

so he can explain away da lines
dat you stay reading in dis sequel.

Dat seems to be da plan
cause wit dat 1968 date

he nevah fact check and Google
and now you hear da bugle

letting you know

dat da editing cavalry
has finally come to da rescue.

It wuz just wun typo

dat da proof reading mind
wen pass ovah

and da eyes nevah see.

So no worry
da world not going end.

It just shows you

dat even da best intentions
can acknowledge

dat life has its imperfections.


Several years back
scientists wen make wun amazing find

wen dey wen discover wun woolly mammoth
dat roamed da earth 28,000 years ago.

Dey found da buggah in Siberia’s permafrost.

Dey wen name da frozen carcass “Yuka”

and it is regarded
as one of da best-preserved mammoths

evah discovered.

But wat wuz even moa fascinating
wuz dat dey wen find remains of three humans

close to da hairy pachyderm.

Dey wen also recover
some long spears wit flint points

dat wuz stuck inside da great beast

along wit wun strange looking
barbed spear

dat really baffled da scientists.

Experts wen theorize
dat maybe during wun hunting expedition

da big animal wen collapse
on wun small nearby ridge

and in da process
fell and rolled ovah
da unfortunate hunters.

As to why da mammoth
or da human bodies

could not be retrieved back den
is wun mystery.

Yuka’s discovery got everybody excited
cause further tests in the following years

revealed dat da mammoth’s remains

had not been contaminated by da environment
in all of da time dat wen pass.

Conversely, same ting wit da three humans
dat wuz resting nearby.

Some scientists wuz tinking
dat having such well-preserved cells witin da carcass

potentially going allow dem
foa create wun live mammoth clone

of da specimen it came from.

Dat in itself would be wun mind blow

but wen dey wen do genetic DNA sequencing
on da three human bodies

all of dem wuz absolutely stunned.

One of da guys turned out to be Polynesian

and it suddenly explained da strange looking spear
dat wuz uncovered at the discovery site.

Da scientist named
the incredible dead person “Kaloko”

and dere wuz worldwide excitement
as to wat da astounding find would mean

in regards to da ancient migration
of da human species.

Unbeknowst to all da eggheads

Kaloko wuz part of wun great Polynesian armada
of eleven huge voyaging canoes

dat wen land on da Siberian coastline long ago.

Dey made contact wit da natives deah
and became friends.

Aftah many months of living among dem

Kaloko, some adah members of his party,
and da Siberian natives,

wen go on wun great hunting trip to da interior.

Kaloko proudly carried his ‘ihe
to use during da adventure.

Unfortunately, two Siberian guys and him
wen meet dere disastrous deaths

wen dey wen attempt to bring down
wun wholly mammoth.

Months latah
wen most of da voyaging canoes

wen try journey back to Polynesia
to bring news of dis great newfound land

dey wuz hit by wun powerful hurricane
and all of dem wuz lost at sea.

Da braddahs dat stayed behind
lived out dere lives in Siberia

and no modern human
would evah know

dat dey wuz even deah.

All of dis would have remained unknown
if not for da wonders of science

and da new discovery
dat came out of da permafrost.

And now da spirit of Kaloko
wit dis milestone revelation

stay rising like wun beckoning ghost
dat going get plenty kine people talking.

[ ‘ihe:      Spear.]

Joe Balaz has created works in American English and Hawaiian Islands Pidgin (Hawai'i Creole English).

He presently lives in Cleveland, Ohio, and he is the author of Pidgin Eye.
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