Joe Balaz


Event Horizon




REFRIGERATOR RAIDERS



I wen text my niece

dat I wuz going send
wun old cd to her maddah

so I had to ask her
if she had wun portable cd player

dat she could take ovah
to her maddah’s house

so her mom could listen to it.


She said she did

cause it wuz someting
dat she refused to part wit

wen technology 
wen move forward.


I wen text back to her
dat wuz good

cause nowadays 
tings stay on mp3s

and even moa advanced
electronic gadgets

dat offer easy access avenues.


She wen laugh
wit wun happy face emoji

and said dat I wuz correct

cause just like me

she no even know 
wat most of dose tings are.


Howevah, 
couple years ago,

she got wun Alexa 
foa Christmas.


She no use it
to its full capabilities

and she only listen 
to Pandora

dat music 
streaming service.


My niece 
also told me

dat sometimes 
she even unplugs Alexa

cause she
no trust da device. 


It’s wise foa anyone
not to trust Alexa

cause she likes 
to eavesdrop.
 

If different kine success
via dat calm female voice
 
is finally achieved
on da adah end
  

individuals may one day find 
dat some of dere favorite eats

might be missing.


In da very early morning 
wen everybody stay sleeping

tiny bionic people 
crawl out of da speaker holes
 
and dey attempt 
to raid refrigerators.


Someone Needs Attention




GOOD KINE ADVICE



I am aware of Finland’s stand 
against da Soviet Union in 1939,


da college basketball win
by Chaminade against Virginia,


Morris da Florist and friends

battle against tyrannical trucking 
companies in The Pushcart War,


Sir Richard Branson’s inability
to read at da age of 11

and being bounced around 
between schools foa low grades
 
until he eventually scored bigtime,


who Hiram 
da ordinary housefly became 

when he put dose cool glasses on,


and wat Cinderella 
had to go through

to get to wheah she got.


So if deah’s 
any good kine advice to give

it’s to make wun effort
to amass your stones

so you can be ready
wen da time comes

to take on Goliath.



HOW THE OTHER HALF THINKS


Da following  


is wun observation


and just wun special

and spontaneous

presentation



foa all of you guys



                                                                                                                                            Move the Halo


or

if you tink



in Hawaiian

kine Pidgin







Joe Balaz is a writer and artist and he is the author of Pidgin Eye, a book of poetry.
He was born and raised in Wahiawa, and has also lived in Waialua, Punalu’u, Ka’a’awa,
and Kailua, before he took off on a jetairliner to relocate his physical self to ‘Ohaio'*
Balaz presently lives in the kulanakauhale o Kaliwalana.*
* Ohio    City of Cleveland
 
 

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