20221206

Peter Cherches

Radio Spot*


[MUSIC]

Are you looking for a way to make your bathroom trips more efficient? Look no further! Introducing a revolutionary new product that not only wipes your ass, but makes you smarter too!

The Wipe and Learn Toilet Paper is the perfect combination of convenience and intelligence. It not only keeps your behind clean and fresh, but also helps to improve your memory, focus and concentration. With each wipe, you’ll be exposed to educational material that is guaranteed to help you learn something new each time.

So don’t waste any more time. Get the Wipe and Learn Toilet Paper today, and start learning while you wipe! [BRAND NAME] Toilet Paper–the perfect combination of cleanliness and intelligence!


*This text was generated by the artificial intelligence app ChatGPT based on the following prompt: Write a radio commercial for a new product that wipes your ass and makes you smarter at the same time.



Blurbs


“A Finnegans Wake for the street.”

“OULIPO meets Miss Marple, and the results are hilarious, which doesn’t have an e.”

“Move over, Vladimir and Estragon, Nick Dragon has all the time in the world!”

“Once in a generation comes a thriller so static you won’t know what happened.”

“In this brief memoir, Cherches eats a madeleine, declares it tasty, and makes his exit. Proust without the padding.”



Love, Like War

Pops Graham, the town’s oldest resident (though nobody, not even Pops, knows just how old he actually is) discovers a fault line between sadness and entropy while taking a short stroll to the newfangled coffee shop and is immediately swallowed up by a salad of kisses. The schoolchildren, at recess, playing games unknown in Pops’ childhood, have no inkling of the danger that hangs over that sad, dusty town.

The dust of the town is an odd, luminescent red, like the puckered lips on a long-forgotten neon billboard for a defunct lipstick brand with a familiar but forgettable name, the model’s pointy bra merely window dressing, so to speak.

Window dressing, salad dressing, it’s all just icing on the cake
And love, like war, is no cakewalk.

In a sad and dusty town
The dust an odd and luminescent red
Like the puckered lips on a long-forgotten
Neon billboard for a long-defunct lipstick brand
With a familiar but forgettable name
And the model’s pointy bra no more than window dressing
Dressing...

In a sad and dusty town like this
Pops Graham
The oldest man in town
Discovers the fault line between sadness and entropy
Old man discovers fault line between sadness and entropy
And is swallowed up by a salad of kisses.

Salad of kisses,
Town of dust,
Salad dressing,
Window dressing.

In a sad and dusty town
It’s all just icing on the cake
And love, like war, is no cakewalk.




Peter Cherches' next chapbook of unclassified short prose, Things, will be published by Bamboo Dart Press in April.
 
 
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