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David Jalajel


11 SNAPSHOTS FROM THE ARK (DRAGONS)
“Human interests cannot be the be-all and end-all of an ecopoem.” - John Shoptaw Beelzebufo Getaway car. Nothing’s on par with a max speed frog. Bound around like a kangaroo and take that swim! Your “slashing” tongues injure. Your “stabbing” tongue gathers. (No, you cannot execute a tongue attack and swim.) Mind well your tongue(s). Wait for bugs to swarm the corpse. Then lick up the paste. (These frogs kill leeches too.). Dimorphodon Spelunking accessory? Nothing’s more versatile… (For what it’s worth, I’ve yet to test-drive vultures.) … and hitched to a spyglass, your flock is lethal… (A primitive, yet unanticipated, sniper.) … and you won’t need many if you’ve bred them well… … and they’re somewhat semi-disposable. Diplocaulus Buy your living diving gear — your poor man’s scuba suit, your floppy, weird and slimy tank and flippers all-in-one. Long ago, they say, it tried to swallow a boomerang — and succeeded. Now it looks like the cousin of some alien from Pitch Black. It’s every gator’s favourite snack. Even so, take that plunge. Get in way over your head. Kaprosuchus Our utility is exceptionally handy with trilobites. 100% responsive on land and fast in the water. Snag a trilobite and pivot it in a circle, clamping the erstwhile crustacean in its jaws until it dies. No more chasing those trilobites up and down the beach! You need them live? It not only snares your chattels for you, it packs them and ships them off, straight to your paying clientele. Megalania Down where spiders can’t climb walls but lazy fat-arsed lizards can… What’s hitting the folks hard? What’s forcing homesteaders on rotting flesh? It’s Spiderman’s feral komodo beasts slapping it out on your front porch. It’s the females screwing themselves, their eggs dripping down your walls. It’s those vector-for-80-seconds-worth- of-megarabies gnashing salivaed teeth. It’s to indulge in rapacious assignations with wasted wannabe Aussie dragons. Pteranodon Each egg demands its own peculiar temperature range. Place your egg. Watch over it’s health and incubation. It will let you know if it’s feeling too hot or too cold. Dote over the fires, torches, AC units, and dimetrodons. If the temperature is slightly off, egg health will decline... Oh, just take a bolas and lob a full-grown ptera from the sky. Quetzalcoatlus The party platformer is finally here! (And the mohawk it flaunts is lush.) Deck it out with chairs, tables, snacks and more. Your massive, flying ground sloth’s an unsurpassed, airborne A RV. So kit it out at the nearest rest stop and you’ll see what weary customers are willing to pay. But if there’s no fun or profit in bed-letting (if breeding’s taking up too much of your time), then batten down the turrets. Pack it full with C-4-loaded dodo torpedoes. Sarcosuchus Have your monkey fling shit at it to slow it down, then lure your quarry into the shallows — It’s the singular seahorse from whose spine you’d proudly lift a spyglass to your eye. Tapejara It’s your dependable, trusty old school bus, faithfully wrapped around a tree. It’s your attack helicopter, zigging it up, down, forward, backward, and side to side. It’s your getaway car, packing 3 thugs, guns in hand, all blasting out the back. It’s your general utility vehicle, your harpoon launcher, your perfect recon, your ultimate spy and surveillance drone. (But do take care around rocket launchers.) It’s every backseat driver’s dream, and parking it’s a littoral walk in the park. Thorny Dragon You should try to think of it as the desert’s packrat. Grab a chain and make 1 such devil your mini-mule. What’s the scorched Earth’s best asset? It’s this moloch’s ranged quill attack. (K-Os a jerboa in 1 reflex action.) Try to imagine — a packrat once found true love in a bearded dragon, and they had a very beautiful child. Titanoboa You hear heavy slithering? Don’t run. Turn around, walk backwards. Poke it in the eyes over and over. Or jog a step, turn, and fire. Repeat. Take brisk, measured steps. You’ll kill it in the end. And come Halloween, it’ll be tameable for a time. Then it’s sure to serve up a few good laughs at the party. Pretty quiet. It’ll take the guests by surprise.
8 SNAPSHOTS FROM THE ARK (DEAD BUGS)
Achatina So let me show you how to bake the cake. Steady a cooking pot. Boil the fibre, stimulant (pick berries), sparkpowder (grind flint and stone), carrots, some corn, and a potato. (It’s a vegetable cake.) For each crop, rig a planter box (in a steel-frame greenhouse) enriched by irrigation and a compost bin. The last ingredient you’ll need is sap, tapped from the giant redwoods. Be sure to fix the taps high above ground. (Erect tree platforms.) At last, you can bake your cake. Now feed it (this you must do by hand) to your snail. Araneae Overall, it’s just a stupidly designed creature. Anyone who’s not on drugs will never find this thing cute. This thing should be able to climb walls and ceilings. This thing should be able to paraglide on gossamer. This thing should be able to take on bubbles of air and dive underwater, like a big brown hairy fanged fish. Arthropleura You’ve found your living metaphor for the xenomorph. The embodiment of the fully militant mount, the pure combat beast, pimping low pH spittable blood and exclusive hazard gear. Hypersensitive to bug repellent, and weak to ranged attacks, so yeah, it’s gonna die — But run with it. BAM! (No C-4 needed.) Dung Beetle Seal the circle of lystrosaurs. Feed the beetle. Pet them. Feed it again. Bring 6 close friends (must be 6) to slaughter every live body in the beetle’s cave. Invoke each snake, each scorpion, each bat. Then banish all relics and artefacts. Erect a greenhouse canopy. Shut the door. Pace the circle round and round its orb of dung until it grows deeply bored. Now lie prone and crawl to it slowly. Make sure to hold fast to the ground. Then let it kill you — let your shit flow free. Firefly Coax forth its electric charge like you’re drawing water from a well. Once within its modest ambit, it’ll trigger its “spaz” mode. So approach it humbly, your battery in hand. (I received a red one’s pink light as a Valentine.) Photosensitive epilepsy? When you see one — run. Lymantria Boomerangs are customarily considered a poor choice for knocking out a butterfly. No matter it’s an ingenious superbioweapon unleashing limitless Nazi-grade organoarsenic. Meganeura BUITRECITO — Eat organic, and it will come to you, but if you approach it with a dead body in tow, it will attack. So, kill it only by frog (or by torch?) or it’ll aggro. Titanomyrma Always in the long grass where you can’t see them, always in that one place you least expect them, they’re everywhere you go... and the swarm will follow you, chasing you down, past herds and herds of dinos, further than any other creature will ever pursue you. You’re naked in the forest, knowing only how to craft an axe.
David Jalajel is the author of Moon Ghazals (Beard of Bees Press, 2009), Cthulhu on Lesbos (Ahadada Books, 2011), a chapbook in Dan Waber’s This is Visual Poetry series (2013) and Rhyme & Refrain (University of the Western Cape, 2017). His work has appeared in a number of online and print journals, including Otoliths, Shampoo, experiential-experimental-literature, Recursive Angel, The New Post-Literate, Gulf Coast, Anti-, Lynx, Mizna, and Eclectica.
 
 
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1 Comments:

Blogger Brandon said...

"Snapshots from the ark" is witty educational and just a tad bit cynical. It provides a short description of creatures past and present and the ridiculous, often selfish ways they may be of use to us. It proclaims human interests cannot be the be all and end all of an ecopoem. At first blush one will argue by this definition these humorous vignettes are anything but, since they are so human ego-centric. But upon further reflection Jalajal's approach is the perfect remedy to see our humble place in the last of a long line of creatures, all unique, wonderful and amazing in their own right. In reverse order it starts alphabetically with the survivors of which we are in the middle of the pack. As the book continues, we find ourselves going deeper into the evolutionary past, with ancient and fantastic sea creature, reptiles, mammals, birds and finally bugs. Each category includes a meticulous hand drawn print of one of the animals and each vignette a detailed description of each animal and a clue about its habitat. In this way we unwittingly become less ego-centric and more eco centric with each turn of the page. Brandon Mayfield, author Atheism V. Belief, co author- Improbable Cause.

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